We all wish we could say that we have an affectionate cat who loves to be petted and cuddled, but unfortunately not all furry people like caresses, especially if they have been picked up from the street or if during their earliest childhood they have not had much contact with humans.
In this article we are going to talk about why can't my cat be petted And what can you do so that your furry does not get so nervous when you are giving him love.
Why can't my cat be petted?
There are several reasons why a cat does not want to be touched. The main ones are:
- He has not had much contact with people, either because he has been living on the street or because, even and being in a home since he was a puppy, he has not spent time with the family.
- You have had a bad experience with someone holding or stroking you. And, although time passes, feline memory is very good and will always be remembered.
- You feel pain somewhere in your body. Sometimes he can hurt himself, or he may be developing a disease, so if you notice that he is not feeling well, do not hesitate to take him to the vet.
How do you pet a cat?
It may seem very simple, but if you do not have much experience, the animal may think that you are somewhat abrupt or that you make very fast movements. For the cat, the human being is very large, so if we want him to approach us, I recommend you follow this step by step:
- Stand in front of your cat, and sit on the ground.
- Invite him to come over by offering cat treats. If you see that he ignores you, put one of them so that it is close to his position, and then another but this time that is closer to you.
- The cat will most likely not hesitate to approach you, so once you have it close, let it smell you, and if you want, give it some treat.
- Now, let him smell your hand, and gently run his fingers over his head.
- If he likes it, you can stroke his back until you reach the tail; Otherwise, you will have to settle for stroking his head today.
Repeat these steps several times a day for a while, and you will see how little by little you will get your cat to be caressed by you.
Are there cats that get stressed out if they are touched?
Cats, like people, have their own personality. Just as there are bad people who like more to be touched, caressed or physical contact in general… The same thing happens to cats. There are cats that prefer to maintain more contact with other cats or humans, and others that simply, they are fine going their own way.
Maybe you have ever wondered if you could pet your cat without having to stress it, but is this really the case? Is it necessary that you not pet your cat so that it feels good next to you or can you give it your affection however you want to do it ? Actually, cats set the limits for you themselves. If you want to caress them they will show you with their body language, and if they don't want to ... just the same. Although we comment more on this to understand it better.
You can continue petting your cat without worrying, as long as your cat "allows" you to pet him. When you see that he does not feel like physical contact, then do not hesitate to give him his space so that he does not get aggressive or leave your side.
It is necessary to know that there are cats that are more stressed than others, that they have more cortisol in their blood and this can make them more nervous when you pet them. It does not mean that they are stressed because you are stroking them ... Only that they are stressed because there is something in their lives that makes them nervous and prone to overreact to things. If you think this is what happens to your cat, it would be a good idea to look for that factor that causes him to be stressed to be able to control it as soon as possible.
What should you keep in mind if your cat does not allow himself to be touched due to stress
El Stress in the animal it manifests itself in poor health. There are two things that appear particularly. One is skin problems, so the cat is losing a little hair or grooming itself too much in one particular spot so that it has a bare patch on the skin or even an ulcer. The second is the cystitis (a urinary tract infection), which is actually quite common in cats.
General signs of stress in cats are actually not that easy to identify because they are simply not very demonstrative animals. They tend to hide their feelings when they are unhappy. That said, a cat that spends a lot of time hiding, under furniture or high up in the room, on top of cabinets and that sort of thing, that's often a sign of stress. The cat has to get in a good defensive position all the time before it feels comfortable.
Can cats live happily in a house with other cats even if they are not petted?
Yes, they can, but it is not as easy to achieve a happy coexistence with cats as it is with dogs. Most dogs will like to meet other dogs, and they will quickly establish a relationship with each other. They have the body language, the signals to do it. The problem with cats is that they don't have the same sophisticated signaling system as dogs.
But there are a few things you can do to make sure two cats get along. The first thing is that it is a good idea to choose cats that have already lived together, and the best solution is often two cats from the same litter. Cats that haven't lived together since they were young, you have to do a kind of careful introduction. The best way to do this is to mimic how the two cats would likely find each other, which is by their scent. And in this period you better not caress them because they will be stressed, the best thing is that you allow them to be the ones who approach you.
Can Cats Be Happy Living Indoors?
Cats don't need a lot of physical space to live. What they need is a safe and basic place to live that is interesting. The human living with an indoor cat should pay more attention to the cat, take more measures to make the cat's life interesting...
And a cat that lives indoors will most likely ask for more petting than a cat that can come and go, that is, one that is more independent and can explore "the world out there." Actually it is your cat who decides who caresses him and who cannot do it ... If he "lets" you give him love, feel privileged because that means that he has established a very close affective bond with you.
Can my cat pet me?
Obviously a cat does not caress like humans do, but in reality, it can. He will caress you differently, but the message is the same: give and receive affection. A cat that seeks your caresses or that wants to show your affection will do so in different ways:
- Being by your side all the time
- Looking for your lap to fall asleep or be quiet
- Sleeping next to you
- Rubbing his face against yours
- Rubbing his body against your legs
A cat can "pet" you in many waysWhat matters is that if he does it, if he decides to do it even though he has been for a while without allowing you to caress him ... it is necessary that you return that caress so that your affective bond is strengthened.
Is a cat that does not allow itself to be stroked a wild cat?
It doesn't have to. The idea that they have been domesticated for so long is actually a bit of a stretch.. Your average cat, you know who the mother was because you went looking for the kitten from somewhere. But you probably won't know who the father is because the cats go out and select their own mates.
Essentially, that is the mating behavior of a wild animal, not a domesticated animal at all, because they are selecting who they mate with. Cats are not really domesticated in the sense that most dogs are. Most dogs have some sort of pedigree in their background, while most cats don't ... But whether it is wild or domesticated, it will be your cat who decides if you pet him or not.
I have a cat that took her from a protectoa, she was 4 months old, I was very nice and she became very nice with my son who always played with her, I caught her because she kept telling me to buy one-one, in short, what It happens that now for about 6 years she lives with me because my son's wife does not like cats (but when she came to my house if she played with her).
Since I have played with her, she seems like a good footballer and above all a good goalkeeper since she takes everything as much as you throw at her but she does not allow herself to be caressed and above all to hold her, she does not leave at all, there are times that I would like to hold her, hug her and feel her between my arms but this is impossible. What can I do?
I am very happy with her and she is very pretty to me.
Thank you
Hello Mary.
Try occasionally giving cat cans or treats. They love it and you can use this food to make them more confident. While he is eating, caress his back like someone who does not want the thing: two or three caresses and you withdraw your hand. So for several days.
Little by little you will see how it will approach you, rubbing against your legs.
By the way, when I look at you, narrow your eyes a little. This will give her a very nice message: that you love her and that she can trust you. If she does the same, then it is because the appreciation is mutual.
A greeting.
Hello, good night, roast a few days, I adopted a 2-month-old kitten, she approaches me to ask for food but when I want to load her, everything moves until I lower her, she does not like to be carried and when I caress her, she withdraws, and I like it So much so that I carry her and kiss her forcibly am I wrong to do so? Is it that when I adopted my first kitten he would come by himself to carry him and he would last a long time in my arms asleep and I want to do the same with the kitten but she won't let it , What I can do?
Hi Alejandra.
You have to earn her trust little by little, with games, cans of wet kitten food, and stroking her for example when she eats, or when she sleeps. These caresses have to be short-lived at first; As you see that it gets closer to you, you can caress it more often.
A greeting.
Hello, I have 4 beautiful kittens, but one of them, the 2nd cat I had, can no longer be caressed or grasped before, if it was left very playful, but I brought another kitten and it was no longer left and it was hardly visible, I do not know what it was going to do a very sudden change
Hello Gaby.
Are they neutered? If not, chances are you've gone into heat and the others don't want to get too close.
In that case my advice is to take them to castrate them to avoid problems.
A greeting.
Hello, I have a cat that I picked up in October 2016 and she was pregnant. She was affectionate, carried away, and was not aggressive. Then the kittens were born, they suckled them until they were 2 months old and I kept two of them.
The kittens are 4 months old and my cat is 10 months old, but she does not allow herself to be stroked or carried, she has become aggressive even with her own kittens. What I can do???
Thank you
Hello Luisa.
Maybe you've been in heat again and don't want your kittens around.
My advice is to take her for a neutering to avoid more litters and to get her to calm down.
A greeting.
Hi! A few months ago they left us a very scared kitten at the door and we decided to adopt him, as time went by he has gained confidence, but since he was with us he has not had contact with other cats. It happens that two days ago we saw a kitten and we took it home, our kitten is not that big, it is about 4 months old, but the cat is about two months old. And when he arrived he reacted quite badly, we had never seen him on the defensive, but we have them in separate rooms and we bring the kitten for 15 min for the cat to see. But there is still a lot of rejection and now he tries to bite his tail and scratch it, what do I do? Thanks.
Hello Lulu.
Cats are very territorial from a very young age. My advice is to keep the kitten in a room for three days. Put your food, water, litter box and a bed that you have covered with a blanket or cloth. Cover the kitten's bed with a blanket or cloth as well, and on the second and third day exchange the blankets or cloth.
On the fourth day, let them meet, but keep an eye on them just in case. Give them a can of wet food - both at the same time - so they can see that nothing happens. If they growl or snort, it is normal. What does not have to happen is that their fur bristles and they fight. If you see that they are about to do it, separate them and try again the next day.
Much encouragement.
Hi, I have a trigger since October 2016, we took it with just over two months and when it arrived it was all sweetheart. She would lie down next to us, we would caress her and purr until she fell asleep… But as time went by she stopped being like that and she began to behave more distant. She began to play with her hands, to sleep alone ... To the point that nowadays she cannot be caressed, she withdraws her hand and begins to lick you until if you are heavy she ends up biting. I have no problem with her being the way she is, but I would like her to go back to being the affectionate Cat she used to be.
Hello Javi.
Has something happened that could have caused you to change your attitude now or in the past? For example, a move, the loss of a loved one, a moment of tension, ...
Anyway, your cat must be about seven months old, right? At this age is when they reach sexual maturity (sometimes even earlier). If she's not neutered, she might be feeling a bit frustrated. Normally a cat in heat becomes very affectionate, but sometimes it happens that she becomes a little, let's say, irritable.
My advice is that you take her to castrate in case she is not. Not only to make her go back to what she was but also to avoid unwanted litters.
Another option is to give him cans of wet food from time to time and take advantage of the moment he is eating to caress it. It is also important to play with it, for example with a rope, since the game is a very effective way to regain the trust and friendship of a cat. Little by little she should be more kind and affectionate towards you.
A greeting.
Hi! Two days ago I picked up a kitten, she had gotten into a neighbor's garage and he put food on her but couldn't keep it there any longer because of neighbors' complaints. The kitten is about a year old and she was super cuddly and quite outgoing, she let herself be picked up and even gave me kisses on my hands just without knowing myself, I decided to bring her home and put her in a separate room, I have two more cats at home (female and male, both castrated) and since the new one smelled them, she does not want me to caress her, she is eating well, but she spends most of the time in the carrier, and when I make the pretense of touching her she snorts. What can I do to make him trust again? When would be the best time and how to introduce him to the other cats? Thanks in advance!!
Hi Yanet.
It is normal for the cat to feel a little "overwhelmed" by the change. It may take you several days to get used to your new home.
To get along with cats, I recommend that you first regain their confidence, and for this there is nothing better than giving them cat cans from time to time (if you can, one a day). During the first day do nothing, just stay close to her. But the second you can try to caress her "without being noticed"; If you see that she gets nervous and / or snorts at you, don't do it and try the next day, but if she continues to eat calmly, caress her a little.
Increase progressively the time you use to caress it. After eating, it is highly recommended that you play with it, with a rope for example. So soon he will trust you again.
When she is calm with you, you can start socializing her with the other cats. Cover their bed and the other furry ones with a blanket or cloth (depending on whether it is autumn or summer), and exchange them from the next day.
On the fourth / fifth day you can present them, but being present at all times. If they snort or growl it is normal, what they do not have to do is stare at each other showing their teeth. If they do, keep them separate for one more day and try again.
Cheer up.
Hello! I have a cat that they gave me yesterday, I do not know how many months it is but it seems approximately 4 or 3 months old, the point is that it is very afraid, it does not allow itself to be caressed and it hides where it is not found, so much so that It is difficult for us to remove it, since we want you not to feel afraid trying to remove it by force, also I do not know how to establish a friendly, loving and mutual relationship between the two, what do you recommend? ...
Hello, Elizabeth.
You must have patience. Cats can take a lot of getting used to.
Offer her kitten tins or cat treats from time to time, invite her to play with you, and let her explore her new home.
When he approaches you without fear, pet him from time to time, as if he really does not want to. At first you will feel a bit uncomfortable, and you may even freak out and wonder what happened, but keep doing this for a few days / weeks.
Don't force her to do anything. Observe their behavior. Look at her fondly and narrow your eyes; so she will understand that you love her, and that she can trust you. If she does the same, you have already managed to earn her trust.
But this takes time, time. Go at your own pace and you will see how everything will go well.
A greeting.
Hello
I have a cat that is already an adult, I picked it up from the street about two months ago, it has never allowed itself to be petted, it already comes closer to me, when I talk to it it comes, it is already sterilized. Today I had some sheets of paper in my hand and I tried to caress him with the sheets, he left, but then he came up to me and scratched my leg, he got angry because I tried to grab him and he got even. How can I make it friendlier?
Hi, Diana.
Cats when they are picked up from the street as adults have more problems adapting, especially if they have never had contact with humans before.
We must have patience. Do not try to caress him, much less take him if he does not want to. It is better to go little by little.
Offer cat treats, or even wet food (cans). Invite him to play with, for example, a rope.
As time goes by, you will gain more confidence.
You have more tips in this article.
A greeting.
Hello, we have taken in an adult cat (not neutered) because her former owners could not take care of her. The problem comes from the fact that she does not allow herself to be caressed, brushed, or cut her nails ... And when we get very close to her she snorts, growls, lets out claws and screams ... The cat is fine around the house, she runs all over it but with us there is no way. She has been at home for a few days ... Maybe she will have to be given more time? We give her awards but she doesn't want them… I don't know what I can do.
Hello Anna.
Yes, it needs time 🙂
Give her cat cans (wet food) from time to time, and invite her to play with ropes or balls. So little by little he will trust you.
A greeting.
They gave me a 2 and a half month old kitten and it does not want to go out from under the bed and does not allow itself to be touched, it is very aggressive, what can I do
Hello Dunia.
It is important to be very patient. Give him wet food for kittens (as it has a stronger smell, he will love it), invite him to play daily with a string or ball, and you will see that in time he will trust you.
Cheer up.
Hey.
Adopt a kitten when she was two months old. She is currently 4 months old, and all the cats in my house are in heat, the truth is, I don't know if she was also in heat since she makes me very young. But lately he lets himself be caressed very little, he is very addictive,
(It has about 1 week approx.) Do not let them grab it, because it begins to bite and move so that they release it. What could be happening to him? Would something hurt? Will you be pregnant? And that is why it is allowed to be touched?
Help!
Thank you
Hi carmen.
She is probably pregnant, yes. I recommend you take the cats to be neutered, so that the cat would surely go back to how it was before.
A greeting.
Hello, what happens is that I have two cats (mother and daughter) but the mother (keilly) only lets the kittens live and kills the males; On the other hand, the daughter (Mía) has had a kitten (Felicia) but I leave her "in the care" of Keilly, the kitten must be two months old, but she does not allow herself to be touched and bites or scratches, Keilly has just had another kitten (Ambar ) of a 3 weeks and both baby kittens live together but I am worried that Felicia does not eat enough so I would like to know how to approach to touch Felicia and be able to feed her, but she always hides and begins to want to attack as I can do to take it and feed it
Hi valeria.
If you can afford it, it is best to take them to be castrated, all of them, even the young when they are of age (six months).
The fact that they are not neutered can make them very nervous, since they also have kittens to protect and care for.
To improve coexistence, you can give wet cat food to all of them at the same time. Take advantage of that moment to caress them (without overwhelming them). Spend time with them, and invite Felicia to play with a rope or other toy. He insists every day, and little by little he will surely calm down with you.
A greeting.
Hi! We have taken a kitten from the street for about 3-4 months. The cat is very scared and after a week we have not noticed any progress. Always hidden, he has a sad face, he meows a lot especially when he is alone and it is impossible to get close because he cowers in fear and if he thinks you have gotten too close he snorts.
When we are in the living room, he does not take his eyes off us. We have tried to teach him food, to pretend that he is not there, to teach him toys and nothing ...
We do not know if we have done him a favor by bringing him with us or we have annoyed him because he does not want to be in a house ...
It's maddening ... What can we do?
Thank you
Hello Lidiana.
At that age, the stray cat is already realizing where it is and, of course, having not lived with humans before, it does not know what it is.
Still, it is not too late for him to get used to you, as he is still a baby. But you have to be very patient and insist a lot, with games, with food.
The environment has to be calm, without loud noises or sudden movements.
If you can get Feliway in a diffuser (in pet stores) perfect, it will help you to be calm.
Much encouragement.
My nephew adopted a 2-year-old cat, at the shelter he approached her and thought it would be the same at home. He has had it for almost 6 months and has not been able to come close. She believes she was abused and never lived with a family. He does not want to force her and hopes that little by little she will get used to it. Can you do anything to speed up that approach?
Hello Pilar.
Wow, poor thing 🙁
In these cases you have to be very patient. And, above all, try not to make noise.
Using feliway and playing quiet instrumental music (like Native American, for example, or traditional Japanese) are little things that can help.
I also recommend giving him cat treats and cans of wet food from time to time (the latter from time to time, since otherwise he may get used to it and not want to eat his usual feed).
And if it still does not improve, there is the option of consulting with an expert on feline behavior. If you are from Spain, we have two very good ones: one is Laura Trillo Carmona (from therapyfelina.com) and the other is Jordi Ferrés (from educadordegats.cat/es/index.html).
Much encouragement.
I have 2 cats that are sisters, they gave them to me since they were little as soon as they became independent from their mother cat ... when they were brought in because obviously they were half upset and they fled to hide after 1 of them began to approach me and then I began to leave her Then caress the other one followed her but since they grew (4 - 5 months) the one that began to approach me now does not like anyone to touch her and she even cries of health is perfect, we take her frequently to the vet and she has her vaccinations apart That they have been operated on since about 2 months, when my cat is asleep she does not worry about being caressed until she adjusts so that her pansita and beard are caressed but she wakes up is veryyyyy rare that she usually runs or cries (but if I talk to her She comes to the first one she is very well understood but it seems strange to me that she does not allow herself to be caressed or anything) her sister changed even she bites you so that you caress her, she loves it when she was the one that when I just arrived it took longer to approach and until a growled at me.
Hello Isaac.
There are cats ... and cats. It also happens to me, that I have cats that melt with the caresses, but there is instead I have a cat that does not like too much. It is normal. 🙂
You can try stroking her when she is busy, for example, when she eats, but if she doesn't like it… then nothing.
A greeting.
Hello. I have a cat sanctuary. 21 in total. There is a kitten (from a rescued cat that was pregnant) who was always very fearful. She allows herself to be caressed only when I feed her, but the rest of the day she escapes and does not let me get close (except to grab her). He is almost 2 years old now, but his behavior was always the same. With his two sisters and the rest of the cats I have no problems, but this one in particular gives me problems because I cannot get close except a little when I feed him. Is there anything I can do? I tried the food thing, but as soon as I go without food it goes away. I do not notice that it is fear (if another person enters the sanctuary it is different, it trembles). When I raised them with the mother and the sisters, she allowed herself to be caught, although she was always the most elusive.
Hello Daniel.
From what you say, that cat simply does not like to be caressed or shows of affection that involve physical contact. Nothing happens. You just have to respect it 🙂
To show him that you love him, it is not necessary to have him on you. By looking at her and blinking slowly you will already be telling her that you feel appreciation for her.
A greeting.
Hello, I have a cat of approximately 6 or 7 months, I found her on the street when she was between 2 and 3 months old, the thing is that she became very aggressive, she does not let me carry her for a second, and before at first she slept on top mine for a while but now she does not sleep anywhere, she is hyperactive, and she has a lot of toys and I play with her but she is always climbing everywhere, biting cables and everything, scratching me and my mother, the question is that only she falls asleep when we leave her in the transporter or at night we leave her in the kitchen with her food, water, bathroom and her bed and even toys. But we no longer know what to do, almost every day he scratches us, I know he does it playing but it hurts us a lot and he does not understand the limits. I don't know if taking her to castrate will improve her character, but I hope so. Because coexistence like this becomes very difficult.
Hello Romina.
Castrating her is something I recommend, as it will calm her down. But you have to know that it is not going to fix the problem. For that to happen you must arm yourself with patience, play a lot with her and teach her to do not scratch and not bite.
A greeting.
Good afternoon
We adopted a kitten in confinement, we hope she had a month to bring her home, we treat her with a lot of affection and pampering, we buy her toys, candy beds, but on the other hand, she does not show much affection, she only allows her head to be caressed, if I caress the body she gives you nibbles (loosely) she never climbs on our legs, if someone comes home she buffs her, just to sleep she gets on one of the beds with us and sleeps on our feet, my daughters adore her but she doesn't show affection for none of the family, she always goes her way, she only obeys if you call her to eat, in other cases not.
Hello Francisco.
Each cat has its own character, and that cannot be changed.
What you can do is offer her treats from time to time, and from time to time - without overwhelming her - caress her little head while she eats. Little by little he will accept you more.
But I insist, if she is not especially affectionate, then nothing happens. One of my cats does not allow herself to be picked up either, but shows her affection in other ways (slow blinking, rubbing against her legs, letting her head be stroked).
Regards!
Good afternoon,
4 months ago I adopted a stray kitten of about 6 months. We neutered her right away because I already have another cat of a similar age.
The problem is that she is a very scary and distrustful cat and it is only possible to caress her when she is on her platform but you cannot catch her. In any other situation, she flees in terror and hides. I understand that every cat is different and I would have no problem with it if it weren't for the fact that we can't take her to take her to the vet. She goes into panic mode, hyperventilates and even pees herself and of course scratches you and runs off in such a way that it is impossible to put her in the carrier. When I adopted her it was already difficult to catch her, but she came very undernourished and did not have as much strength. Now it is impossible. I do not know what else to do.
I would appreciate any suggestions. Thank you.
Hi Alicia.
Six months she was a puppy, but by being on the street she was almost getting ready to be an adult. The socialization period of a cat goes from 2 to 3 months (week up / down), so with six months it costs a little more for it to adapt to living indoors.
It does not mean that it is impossible, just more difficult.
My advice is to get yourself a few cans of cat food, and always leave the carrier open in the corner. Every day, or whenever you consider it, give him some food from the can by placing the plate two meters from the carrier; if it doesn't eat it, put it further away. The following days, put it a little closer each time (we are talking about centimeters).
The idea with this is that you feel comfortable with the carrier next to you.
Once you have already achieved it, put the food plate inside that carrier, leaving the door open. Do it for several days, since you have to see that you can use it as if it were another refuge.
When it's time to go to the vet, you just have to put food in the carrier or attract it with a treat.
Of course, you have to be very patient. But little by little you will see results.
Regards!